The Life of KB

Friendship is an interesting thing. I feel that it's something that should be held onto through thick and thin. One of my good friends, Chris, used to always ask the weirdest questions about why I would get mad at him if he did something to ruin something of mine, and if I said yes, he would always say, "So money is more important than friendship?" and now I realize that it's definitely not. I would give up all the money I had, just to hang out with my friends. I especially feel that something like a bag of chips should not be held above a friendship, especially a half-eaten bag of chips, which brings me to the story of the BBQ.

Yesterday, June 8th, I was expecting a pretty fun day. You know, hanging out with my friends, going to a school's out BBQ and just chilling. Well the BBQ wasn't that great (luckily the rest of the day was), because McQueen kids just are stupid. When we arrived, there were already lots of kids there, only a few we knew. As Jesse, Quinton, and I walked in, we were pretty much glared down by the McQueen kids who had no reason to do so. Figuring it was just because they didn't know us, Jesse and I decided to attempt to make acquaintances. After pretty much being rejected, we went back to hanging out with the few others we actually knew. A little bit later, Olivia showed me that she had a firecracker, so I asked if I could use it. She gave it to me as well as a lighter, and Conor had the idea to put it in a bag of chips, which I decided I'd do. I put it in a half-eaten bag of Ruffles, and walked away. It didn't work, so we got it out, and this loser scene kid says "You fucking pussy, go back to Galena." Which in my opinion wasn't much of a diss, considering roughly 30 seconds later he started playing Britney Spears. After that, the galena kids decided to leave because we realized that McQueen kids are just loser, hollow fucks. Now, my good friend Binh was the one who threw this BBQ, and was also the one who bought the bag of chips. He didn't seem that upset when we left, so I didn't think much of it, but when I arrived home, and talked to him on the internet last night, pretty much the only thing he said was "you shouldn't put firecrackers in stuff I spent my money on" and "fuck off." Personally, I was a little amazed at what happened, considering I thought he was my friends and a reasonable kid, rather than an asshole who was that obsessed over money. Well, I guess people now-a-days hold money over their friends, so I'm thinking the human race is fucked. Oh well. I'll just have fun with my friends who aren't so greedy.

Wow. My life changed yesterday. So amazingly good. I don't know how to explain it.

Standing on this world, in which everything is composed of simple protons, neutrons, and quarks, many think that there must be something "divine" to create these things, but I say nay. Every question you ask me about how they got "here" I can ask you about your "god." "What made it?" If your God is omnipotent, why can't matter in itself be that way? I'm seriously not going to debate about it anymore, but I'll continue to defend myself, and if you don't agree with what I'm saying, I really don't care either, think what you like, whether it be logical or not.
When it really came down to me not believing in "God" I was more affected by these questions that not even the bible answers; for example, "What makes the Christian God any more right than the Muslim Allah, or the Hindu gods, or Shintoist gods?" People just ignore this question, because they can't answer it, or they make up some bullshit answer like "there aren't ANY contradictions in the bible, but there are in other religions"(there are contradictions in every religion.)
Just think for once. Think of it from an agnostic point of view, and you'll soon just realize the truth.

So now I've realized that the people that I know that can drive, are too stubborn. Conor's too afraid to drive anyone, as Michelle just wouldn't drive. We just spent over 40 minutes arguing about what we should do, both drivers got out-voted several times, but both refused to do anything. It sucked. I wish I could have atleast gone to someone else's house.
Gah.
Today sucks.

With being sick today, staying at home, feeling like I'm going to puke as well as having the fattest headache, I stumbled upon this question, "how come dream loves always end happy ??" Sadly, I know the answer.
This brings me back to the conversation I had with Dalton yesterday. We were walking, and talking about the consequences of living in Reno. I believe I said something like, "I want to leave Reno, but I can't. I've grown too accustomed to this isolated place. No one ever comes, or leaves, so once you are here, you are stuck. Reno is too Isolated, so we all grow way too close to each other, you know, just like those friends in the movies, that most people don't think exist because they don't have the time, or even the right place, to grow close enough to one another. We are so isolated that we cry when someone we know leaves. Every time I even start to think about leaving this dreadful place, I am overwhelmed with sadness. I could never leave my friends. I get sad just thinking about all the places that we went. Just the places, not even the memories that we shared there. Reno is the place where friends become the closest because we can. This is the perfect scene for a movie, and we are the perfect cast. We love each other almost... too much."
Dalton then replied with this amazing "That was very deep, Kevin, very deep."
Many people who live in Reno, especially the suburban part, will agree with me on that subject.
But now onto how this relates to the question. We grow close, because we can, and we actually try.
We are so isolated, that we have to grasp together. This forms the tightest bonds ever, even tighter than "love." But if we were to try to grasp onto others in the sense of love, those relationships would be that just like in the movies or in our dreams, where they try their hardest, because they truly love each other, and they will end happily. Dream loves work, not because of the people's emotions, but moreover, as their actions and their feelings. A great relationship would form if there were just the right people within it, working together to grow old together, to intertwine their lives flawlessly, to make their relationship form what seems like a flawless diamond.
Wow.
So unbelievably weird, but it seems true to me.

So, how many times have you (I doubt anyone else is reading this, but this is how I write) heard someone say "brb," when you really wanted to talk to them? Way too many timse for me, and it's annoying. I HATE IT.
It also seems that "brb," is not the best thing for them to be saying, because they are never "right back," (for the idiots out there, the ending "rb" in "brb" is right back.) It's not just that they take a while to get back, while they are gone time always go by slower. I just wish I could talk to them forever.

Waiting and waiting and waiting.
WHEN WILL IT END?
Too bad my godly powers are harder to use in the flesh realm.
If we were at the diner, I could make time go by like nothing.
(influenced by kevin-ism)

But on to the real thing.
Waiting.
I've been doing it a lot lately.
Waiting for answers, rides, items.
Waiting for people to finish tests. Ha ha.
I hate it.
Time goes to slow.

I act like everything is fine, but it's really not. I almost am constantly feeling bad. Who knows, maybe I have chronic depression or something. It hits me the hardest late at night. I just sit here, every night, until atleast 10, talking to people who I doubt even like me. Then I begin the questioning, "What have I done to cause my life to be like this?" Sadly, it all goes back to who I picked my friends as. Guess I'll have to figure out some way to get over this.

Ha Ha.

There is almost always a possibility, so therefore saying impossibility is fact is foolish. Unless you can utterly disprove something to the fullest extent, there is always the possibility of it being true. The same thing with a God. As you can not disprove that I am not God, therefore, I could just as well be God and none of you idiots would even know. :] But then again, it is highly unlikely that any God exists, and just me being it, makes it little less possible. Now, if something can not be disproven, you also can not prove it, therefore noting is certain
"Certainty is Foolishness"
-Mark Blackhart
Now with things like quantum physics coming along quite nicely, we may even soon be able to prove that I truly am God, whilst your banished souls of Christendom fail to observe that. But back on to quantum physics, the statement "nothing is real unless it is observed" comes directly from it. I love this statement. For you can even use it for godly-ness. For example, you never truly have observed "God" working physically for you in an undeniable way that it was him, therefore he has never been observed so he is not real. hahaha. It's actually meant for the essence that it is of a 50 50 probability, like Schrodinger's cat. Schrodinger's cat, is metaphorically a cat stuck in a box with a bottle of poison and a radioactive element. This element has a 50 50 percent chance that it will decay the bottle and allow the poison to kill the cat, or it won't decay and the cat will live. But, we are not monitoring the cat completely, so at that state of time in which we close the box and before the opening of the box, the cat is both dead and alive, as well as neither. It's in such a state that the world does not know. But once the box is opened, the state of the cat is observed, making it clearly only one state. Now this is quite interesting, and if you aren't astounded by quantum physics, you clearly don't comprehend it fully.

(may continue, but might forget. ha ha)

Why, my boy, it's Christmas Eve!

Oh shit, I feel like that boy. It doesn't truly feel even close to winter time yet, but it is. Is 2006 really almost over? Can someone please explain to me how this year, (that was jam-packed with activities), went by so fast? To me, it feels like we haven't even had halloween yet, but here we are, on the eve of Christmas, waiting for the night to go by, so in the morning we all can open our presents like the greedy little imps that we all are. I wish the things I like would stay forever.

This worlds days are far shorter than what I thought they once were.

I despise this concept of time.

"We control the world around us. We are the only true gods."
What we observe causes the world around us to change and nothing is real until we observe it. Basic Quantum Physics. We are god, and all we need to do is realize this, and the world can be ours. I am God. You are nothing. I shall banish you to the core.
This is my world, and I want you to realize it. Drop your lies, drop your "gods" and finally just realize the truth that is ourselves.
Woo.
I love Chris King, Brad Crane, and Alex King.

I realized that i say "oh really?" a lot. Wheter it be in real life or on the internet, I'm almost always saying it even to the most obvious things. Normally, i'm just joking around with it, but for the first time in a long while, I actually was wondering if they were serious. Cherise said she wanted to get back together with me. After what happened, I'm not sure I want to. Plus, I feel a may be liking this other girl now...... (more in a later blog)



(^<^) O RLY!?
(|;;;;|)
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but a lot more complicated.
For some reason, I can only tell when girls like other guys, but not when they like me.
Plus, I think I may like another girl, but I don't think I'd ever have a chance with her, so I'm probably not even going to try.

i'm not going to call myself anything anymore
no more sxe.
no more anything.
it just gets me into shit later on.
i'll just say i'm fucking clean.

And so wonderfully awesome.
I miss it, Thomas, and even Luke (even though we just met).
It was simply amazing.
Next time I go down, I'm definitely staying for longer, so i can just annhilate everything.
Hopefully Vegas will be more ready for Jack and me then.
haha.

Seriously.
Fuck them all.
I don't even care about beating Jack now.
I miss having Talia as a girlfriend.
She was amazing; she was nice, funny, beautiful, and did i mention nice?
I'm not getting back together with Cherise, either, I think.
Different schools makes it too hard, plus she's pretty mean.
So basically, fuck girls.
I think I'm going to be single for awhile, unless someone prominent comes up.
They'll probably have to be amazing to make up for this last one.
haha




"Girls are just brain dead bitches"

First, I will raise you with hormones and drugs in order to make you are nice and fat just for my pleasure.

I will then make sure you don't use your muscles very much, so the meat stays tender, it sells best and tastes best this way.

Then I'll beat you for the fun of it and make you give milk just so I can make a little money off of it.

Then, before killing you i'll look into your eyes and smile as if ive raised you correctly and for the right purposes.

To end your life, I'll hit you on the head until your unconscious.

I will then hang you, slit your stomach open, then let your blood drip slowly from your lifeless body until its been, oh I don't know, 3 or 4 days.

Then I will chop up every last muscle and eat it just because you are less intelligent than me and you don't have the ability to build a house for yourself.

Also, I will continue to do it to your friends and family as well, just because i say it "tastes good," and because of this, it's allowed. Assholes.

Fuck.
I've been waiting for this fucking nintendo wii for months.
I want it so badly.
But I call and call and call
and all I get is "we have no idea when the next shipment is coming in."
I WANT A FUCKING WII.
and to make things worse,
"we" are taking a break.
shit.

I just want to get the fuck out of this town.
There are two people in the world who I can trust and who I truly think I love.
Neither of them live in Reno.
SHIT.
I miss Thomas Schumacher and Sky Child.
They are the two most amazing people on this face of the earth.

I really, really do, but right now, I don't even know why.
So can we please just leave it at that?
I just do.
Please believe me.
I need to think.

Basically, i don't get girls.
three whole months.
yet she still acts this way.
even after the abuse and hatred he showed to her.
why!?
bleh.
i fucking hate this.